used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize