all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
