it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How external is "for external use only"?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize