windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
50% drunk capacity currently
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
