So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
