he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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