the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
accomplished twins. life is a go
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
