we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You made out with two different species that night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
