please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Small penises have feelings too.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Everclear isn't food dammit
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