and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
