she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
