she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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