Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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