so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
