I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
