I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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