I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I believe in your delicious
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
