i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is Oprah even human
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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