Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
