Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I came so hard my ears popped.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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