well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
