just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
