Porn is love you can see.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Someone came in the potted fern
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
