My sheets look like a crime scene.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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