Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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