she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
