Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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