Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
