tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
