i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
