STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
