so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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