If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Welp...herpes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
