i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
