Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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