he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
