You made me cry and you don't even care
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
