I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We got so high we made milksteak
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
