Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
