The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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