Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And then he peed in my hair
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