I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
