i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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