Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
17 year olds will be the death of me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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