So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
