He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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