someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
