I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
