Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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