i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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