Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
