Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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