He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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