i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
