I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
