I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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