i just wanna soil my oats bro
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize