There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She said her name was "party"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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