Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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