im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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