all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
